A Lovely Day

Shalom God,

I had a lovely day with my daughter today and I just wanted to thank You. It's wonderful how I'm able to get lost in my children and forget all of my worries and troubles. I imagine that that's part of the reason You gave us children - to help us remember what's most important and keep our priorities straight.

It's so easy to lose sight of what's most important. I find myself lamenting that when I visit people in the hospital. It's there that I am reminded of how precious each moment of life is and how often we waste those moments on frivolity.

When I have a day like today - when I treasure each moment, I'm so thankful for the gift of awareness that You have given me.

So thank You for a lovely day and for allowing me to appreciate it.

David

Failure

Shalom God,

Sorry I haven't written for a while. I've been distracted by the possibility of failure. It's an overwhelming fear - the fear of failure. It's consuming. I've had a hard time focusing. While waiting to hear how I would be judged (for an appointment to a fellowship) I've called upon affirmations hoping that they would ease the blow should it come. I've told myself that I'm successful and good at what I do but that all seems to pale in comparison to the heaviness of the judgment of others.

I rarely put myself in these positions for this very reason. I've always known about myself that I don't handle rejection well. I guess I decided to take a risk this one time. I wonder how long it will be until I take that risk again.

At the end of the day, If I can just remember that I can be judged and still loved - I can fail at somethings and succeed at others. If I can just hold on to the knowledge that in Your eyes I am as perfect as I can be then perhaps the sting will hurt a little less.

Thank you for supporting me and sustaining me. Thank You for the strength that you give me in times of weakness and the humility You provide in times of glory. Thank You for the knowledge that the only judgment that counts is Yours.

Shabbat Shalom,
David

Anxious

Shalom God,

I'm anxious. I have an interview in a few minutes and I'm really nervous. I just wanted to connect with you for a moment to ask for Your guidance and Your calm.

Remind me that any gifts I have are given to me by You and that You are the Source of my success. Help me to be honest and open while drawing upon Your wisdom and Your insight. Help me to find the serenity that You have created in our world and allow it to fill my stirring soul.

Thank You for all that You do for me and my family - and thank You for the chance to re-connect with You.

L'hit,
David

Yetzer Hara

Shalom God,

I'm angry. I know it's okay to be angry but it tears me up inside. Anger is one of those emotions that blocks out all that's good and beautiful in Your world. It blinds me to the blessing, the richness and the complexities of my relationships and focuses me on only the pain.

You've taught me that my yetzer hara, my evil, or in this case, angry inclination is not something to be afraid of. You've taught me that in recognizing my yetzer hara - I can discover the ability to transform that painful passion into love and goodness. I know that if I can harness the energy I put into my yetzer hara I can transform it and apply it to my yetzer tov, my good inclination.

But it's hard.

God, give me the strength and the patience to make that transformation. Help me to remember that anger passes and that healing and peace are only hidden underneath. Help me to let go of my frustrations, my silly hurts and my pain and find Your love, Your hope and Your peace. Help me God, find You.

Laila Tov,
David

Sibling Rivalry

Shalom God,

I need some guidance. My two older children are at each others' throats. There is always something that one does to the other that sets off the fireworks. I take it from the stories You've taught us about siblings in the Torah that it isn't suppose to be easy. And as a brother myself I remember my share of torture both as an inflicter and a receiver.

I just wish that I could help them see how precious they both are and how much they have to offer each other. The selfish piece of me wants them to love each other as much as I do.

I'll look again at Your stories of Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Rachel and Leah and Joseph and his brothers. Perhaps You have hidden some wisdom in these stories that can help me help my children.

It's good to know that when I'm at a loss, I can turn to You, the Parent of all humanity for guidance. Thanks for being there for me and thank You for watching over my girls.

Laila Tov,
David

Pride

Shalom God,

I have no idea where she gets it from but my eldest daughter, Dalia is one talented dancer. We just came from her dance recital this evening. God, she took that stage by storm with a smile on her face and the wind under her feet.

I am filled with such pride. I know that I have to be careful of pride. All too often, pride is a stumbling block in my path to wisdom. But I just can't help it. She's so beautiful, she's so talented - and I'm so proud.

In many ways dance is her escape from, well...me. I'm lucky that I am able to be present in many, many aspects of her life. That same fact is unfortunate, at best, for a budding teenager. One thing that Dalia knows she doesn't have to worry about is her dad upstaging her on the dance floor. I've discovered how important it is for my children to have opportunities to discover who they are outside of the shadow of their father the rabbi, musician and teacher.

So I just wanted to take a moment to thank You for helping Dalia become the beautiful young woman she is becoming. For all those times when she can't and shouldn't be under my wing it's nice to know she's under Yours.

Laila Tov,
David

I'm Full

Shalom God,

I can't believe I'm about to say this but I'm full. Not with food - my tummy is usually full with food. Tonight, it's my soul that's full. I just came from an affair at my shul. To be honest I was not looking forward to it because it was honoring me and I don't like the attention. But there was something about tonight that was so special, so real, so magical - that I am full.

Maybe it was all of the hard work that I know went into making a beautiful evening; maybe it was seeing three generations of temple members come together and celebrate; or maybe it was being surprised by my dearest friend and teacher, Rabbi Creditor. Whatever it was it filled my heart and soul.

I want to thank You, God, for allowing me to feel this fullness - this joy. Thank You for allowing my heart to be big enough to accept the many blessings that were shared with me tonight. Thank You for helping me to be joyful and in the moment despite my discomfort with being the center of attention and thank You for reminding me to remain humble.

Being this full is, I imagine, a temporary experience, but I plan to hold on to it as long as I can. Thank You for being with me tonight and every night.

L'chayim!
David

Shabbat Shalom

Shalom God,

So Shabbat is almost here and I'm finishing up at work before heading home to prepare. I just wanted to drop You a note, after a very long and busy week, thanking You for giving us this day of rest. Although as a rabbi, Shabbat tends to be very busy for me - it is still Shabbat and still my favorite day of the week.

I particularly love blessing my children. In this week's Torah portion, You teach us how to bless our children: Yivarechecha...May God bless you and keep you... I sometimes feel inadequate to be the giver of blessing but when I place my hands on my childrens' heads I often feel a rush of Your energy coming through me.

It is then that I realize that I am not, any more than Aaron was, the giver of blessing. I am not the giver - but the director of blessing. It does not originate with me or in me but You have given me the power to direct its course and on this special night each week, I guide it right to my most precious gifts - my girls.

I hope You take Your own advice and give Yourself a little time this Shabbat. I'm looking forward to talking with you tonight and tomorrow morning in shul.

Shabbat Shalom,
David

Can You Hear The People Sing?

Shalom God,

Tonight I'll be at my daughters' school for their annual Zimriyah (song festival). It's a big deal for the school and a lot of fun for the kids. Earlier this morning I got to hear the kids practice and they sounded so beautiful. There is something about a child's voice that is so innocent, so pure, so powerful.

I wanted to let You know so You would be listening tonight. Every song we sing, God, is a song to You. We are Your song.

David

Good News

Shalom God,

I have some good news to share with You. Today in my 8th grade Rabbinics class we were debating what the three most important aspects of Judaism are - and You came in #1. The class agreed that the belief that You are One is the most important aspect of Judaism.

The next item on the list was prayer but the students were a bit hesitant about that. I think many people are intimidated to talk to You. So next to prayer, or perhaps instead of it, they listed Gemilut Hasadim (Acts of Loving Kindness.) Finally the students listed Torah: Learning it and living it as the third most important aspect of Judaism.

I found it interesting that all of the students listed Your Oneness as a top aspect, but then struggled with prayer, one of our most poignant connections to You. I struggle with how to help other Jews be able to pray to You b'chol libam, with all of their heart. Most of the time I'm able to find my way into prayer. Every once in a while I'm distracted, but more often than not, You end up having to listen to me.

I wonder sometimes if it is Your very Oneness that makes You so hard to approach for so many. Maybe it's because ein kamocha, there is none like You, that we are afraid to deepen our relationship with You. I wish I knew how to help people not be afraid. I wish everyone could feel as loved by You as I do.

Laila Tov,
David

Compassionate Justice

Shalom God,

I just needed to drop you a quick note letting you know how upset I am. I've been following the commentary on Judge Sonia Sotomayor, who has been nominated by President Obama to take a seat on the Supreme Court. Why is it that some people are so scared of having a Justice who can empathize and be compassionate? Wasn't it You who taught us to always temper our justice with compassion? I don't understand why an honest reading and rendering of the law requires us to lose our humanity.

Rabbi Mark Glickman explains that, "One of the most common (names for You in the Bible) is Elohim, derived from an ancient word for "judge." Elohim is the God of justice. Behave and Elohim will reward you; misbehave and you can count on Elohim to send you your just desserts ... and they won't be very sweet."

He goes on to write that another name for You is YHVH: "When the Bible refers to God as YHVH, God often behaves with kindness and compassion. This is the God who nurtures and cares for us, who grieves when we misbehave and weeps when we suffer. When our world collapses, Elohim might tell us what we did to mess it all up; YHVH will embrace us, whisper comforting words, and assure us that it will all be OK."

Rabbi Glickman concludes by teaching that, "we Jews take our monotheism pretty seriously and therefore see these two divine names as each describing one aspect of God's behavior. Sometimes, God metes out justice; sometimes, God shows comfort and affection."

God, we should be able to be compassionate in our justice like you are. Please help us to reach that place. We need it now more than ever.

David

Creation

Shalom God,

You've probably heard it before but Bill Cosby does a great routine about Creation. It goes something like this:

God created a tree and it was "good."

Man created a refrigerator and it was "awesome!"

God created a bunny and it was "good."

Man created a car and it was "amazing!"

The refrigerator broke and the car is on the side of the road

but the tree is still standing and the bunny's still hopping.

It's funny but it's also so true. We look at what WE'VE done and marvel but forget to look at what YOU'VE done and even give You any credit. Having said that, I'm actually writing to thank YOU for something WE'VE done.

I've been finding myself more and more intrenched and involved in using technology in my work as a rabbi and teacher. From this blog to webinars to social networking sites to email - it seems to consume my day. And to be honest with You, I love it. I love the ease with which it allows me to connect with people, share information and talk to people about...You.

What I guess I'm trying to say is thank You for giving us the wisdom to develop the amazing technological advances that have consumed so much of our time and energy. I also have a request, please help us to remember that everything that You or we create can be used for good and evil. Help us to use our minds, our intellect, our creativity and our vision for Your sake. We may walk with our own feet, but we still rely on You to guide our steps (asher heichin mitzadei gaveir - from the morning blessings.)

Help us use the gifts that You've given us for goodness and not for evil, for bringing Your Presence more profoundly into our world and not crowding it out.

L'hit,

David

I Don't Blame You

Shalom God,

It's really too early in the morning to try and write to You coherently but as I leave my house to go to the Brain Tumor Society's Ride for Research I just wanted to remind You, and me, that I don't blame You.

This doesn't mean that I think our world is random and people die of brain tumors and other diseases and tragedies randomly - I believe, firmly, that You have a plan. I have no idea what that plan is and frankly, I'd be just as well off if You continued to keep it to Yourself. What I do know is that You guide everything and that includes my daughter and so many thousands and millions of others to their eternal lives. And I know that when You do so, You are mourning also.

So, it's not Your fault that we have disease in our world and I don't blame You for the bad things that happen. In my moments of strength I might cry out and ask You, "WHY?" Please understand that I don't really want the answer - just a compassionate ear to listen and a loving shoulder to cry on. You've taught me never to separate myself from my community. Sadly, the brain tumor world is now my community and so I must go to connect, to cry...to ask "why."

David

There was evening and there was morning, day one

Shalom God,

Somehow it seems perfectly appropriate to re-create my relationship with you through the written word since You are so prolific at Creating with Words. I have always been amazed at the power You have given us through words. The way we can help, hurt and heal all with a bunch of letters strung together.

You know that in my profession, well let's just say I use a lot of words. Okay, I talk too much. But every once in a while, You inspire me to say something inspiring. Every once in a while Your Words find their way through my lips (Hashem s'fatai tiftach...) and You give me the power to help and to heal. I'm so thankful for these opportunities to be Your vessel and hope that You'll give me more chances to speak and to create our world with You.

By the way, today I learned that one reason we have no specific ritual symbols on Shavuot is because the essence of Shavuot is not to do (shake the lulav, blow the shofar, light the Hannukiah or eat the matzah) but rather to not do. When we were at Mount Sinai, in the moment of You giving us Your Torah, we didn't have any fancy, shmanzy rituals to do. Our job in that moment was not to do but to Be, not to give but receive. I've learned that the rituals that we create to help focus our lives on You, sometimes get in the way of...You.

Today in shul, after completing my amidah, I stopped everything for a minute. I closed my book, stood under my tallit and just was, just waiting to receive whatever it was that You wanted to give me in that moment.

So I guess I should finish up today by saying, "thanks" for teaching me to just Be. Thanks for Shavuot and for the gift of knowing how to receive gifts. It is indeed, an art to know how to receive and to be taught by the world's Artisan is a humbling honor.

L'hit!

David