Shalom God,
I'm in a difficult place. I'm holding onto pain and I need to let it go - but I don't know how. I've often felt that one of the many blessings I have been given is an acute awareness and understanding of my own emotional, psychological and spiritual life. The curse that goes along with that is knowing where I am and where I want to be but not being able to move myself from one place to the next.
I look at myself, today, and see my anger, my pain, my frustration - whatever garbage I'm carrying around with me and I want to let it go, I want to just drop it; forget it; ignore it; wipe it away take away it's power over me - but I'm just not that strong.
I know that this too shall pass and I will find happiness again. I know that I won't be in a funk for much longer - but being here now - really stinks.
I put a "to do" item on my calendar for everyday of the year: Be Your Best Self. God, please help me remember to be my best self even when I don't feel my best. Help me find happiness even when I feel filled with sadness. Help me hold on to what is good and let the rest go.
Thanks for listening,
David
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Happy Birthday
Shalom God,
I'm in between today. You see yesterday, the 22nd of June was Liati's birthday and tomorrow the 24th is Ayelet's. It seems so symbolic - Liat came first then Ayelet and in between the two I had to find space for myself - to believe that I could go on; that I could love again; that I could find joy.
So here I am, 11 years later back in that space - remembering Liati and celebrating Ayelet.
I remember when we were choosing Ayelet's name - we wanted to name her after Liat and looked for names that shared the same gematria (numerical value) as the name Liat. We found Ayelet and only later realized that it was not just the gematria that the two names shared, but the letters as well - ליאת and אילת.
Though she never met her, Ayelet is bound up with Liat in my heart. Every year at this time I hold both of them, one on either side with me in between.
Thanks for listening,
David
I'm in between today. You see yesterday, the 22nd of June was Liati's birthday and tomorrow the 24th is Ayelet's. It seems so symbolic - Liat came first then Ayelet and in between the two I had to find space for myself - to believe that I could go on; that I could love again; that I could find joy.
So here I am, 11 years later back in that space - remembering Liati and celebrating Ayelet.
I remember when we were choosing Ayelet's name - we wanted to name her after Liat and looked for names that shared the same gematria (numerical value) as the name Liat. We found Ayelet and only later realized that it was not just the gematria that the two names shared, but the letters as well - ליאת and אילת.
Though she never met her, Ayelet is bound up with Liat in my heart. Every year at this time I hold both of them, one on either side with me in between.
Thanks for listening,
David
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Distraction
Shalom God,
It has been more than a year - not that long since we've spoken, but that long since I've written. I am so easily distracted. Actually that's not all together true. I am really quite focused. My problem isn't distraction as much as it is focus. When I focus in on a task, a project, or a goal it is very difficult to get me to give my attention to anything but that task, project or goal.
And so, as it turns out, I've been quite focused these past many months and it has been hard for me to give You the attention You deserve.
Every time I find myself in this position (and it happens more often then I'd like, as You know) I'm reminded of how important ritual is in my life. Were it not for ritual I would probably connect with You far less than I do. It is ritual, liturgy and tradition that forces me to turn my focus away from my task to Yours - away from my goal to Yours.
I need those reminders - I need ritual to distract me every now and again. Thank you for the gift of focus and for the blessing of distraction.
Yours (quite literally),
David
It has been more than a year - not that long since we've spoken, but that long since I've written. I am so easily distracted. Actually that's not all together true. I am really quite focused. My problem isn't distraction as much as it is focus. When I focus in on a task, a project, or a goal it is very difficult to get me to give my attention to anything but that task, project or goal.
And so, as it turns out, I've been quite focused these past many months and it has been hard for me to give You the attention You deserve.
Every time I find myself in this position (and it happens more often then I'd like, as You know) I'm reminded of how important ritual is in my life. Were it not for ritual I would probably connect with You far less than I do. It is ritual, liturgy and tradition that forces me to turn my focus away from my task to Yours - away from my goal to Yours.
I need those reminders - I need ritual to distract me every now and again. Thank you for the gift of focus and for the blessing of distraction.
Yours (quite literally),
David
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