Shalom God,
I had a lovely day with my daughter today and I just wanted to thank You. It's wonderful how I'm able to get lost in my children and forget all of my worries and troubles. I imagine that that's part of the reason You gave us children - to help us remember what's most important and keep our priorities straight.
It's so easy to lose sight of what's most important. I find myself lamenting that when I visit people in the hospital. It's there that I am reminded of how precious each moment of life is and how often we waste those moments on frivolity.
When I have a day like today - when I treasure each moment, I'm so thankful for the gift of awareness that You have given me.
So thank You for a lovely day and for allowing me to appreciate it.
David
Monday, July 13, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Failure
Shalom God,
Sorry I haven't written for a while. I've been distracted by the possibility of failure. It's an overwhelming fear - the fear of failure. It's consuming. I've had a hard time focusing. While waiting to hear how I would be judged (for an appointment to a fellowship) I've called upon affirmations hoping that they would ease the blow should it come. I've told myself that I'm successful and good at what I do but that all seems to pale in comparison to the heaviness of the judgment of others.
I rarely put myself in these positions for this very reason. I've always known about myself that I don't handle rejection well. I guess I decided to take a risk this one time. I wonder how long it will be until I take that risk again.
At the end of the day, If I can just remember that I can be judged and still loved - I can fail at somethings and succeed at others. If I can just hold on to the knowledge that in Your eyes I am as perfect as I can be then perhaps the sting will hurt a little less.
Thank you for supporting me and sustaining me. Thank You for the strength that you give me in times of weakness and the humility You provide in times of glory. Thank You for the knowledge that the only judgment that counts is Yours.
Shabbat Shalom,
David
Sorry I haven't written for a while. I've been distracted by the possibility of failure. It's an overwhelming fear - the fear of failure. It's consuming. I've had a hard time focusing. While waiting to hear how I would be judged (for an appointment to a fellowship) I've called upon affirmations hoping that they would ease the blow should it come. I've told myself that I'm successful and good at what I do but that all seems to pale in comparison to the heaviness of the judgment of others.
I rarely put myself in these positions for this very reason. I've always known about myself that I don't handle rejection well. I guess I decided to take a risk this one time. I wonder how long it will be until I take that risk again.
At the end of the day, If I can just remember that I can be judged and still loved - I can fail at somethings and succeed at others. If I can just hold on to the knowledge that in Your eyes I am as perfect as I can be then perhaps the sting will hurt a little less.
Thank you for supporting me and sustaining me. Thank You for the strength that you give me in times of weakness and the humility You provide in times of glory. Thank You for the knowledge that the only judgment that counts is Yours.
Shabbat Shalom,
David
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