There has been an empty room in my house lately. Three out of the last seven nights, my eldest daughter has slept out of the house. This isn't new. In fact, she was away for a full month a couple of years ago at summer camp but since then she has been home every night...until recently.
Last night I walked by her empty room and suddenly felt that emptiness jump into my gut. The last time I remember that emptiness was on Castaway Cay - Disney's Island in the Caribbean. It was just after Liat had died and we went on a family vacation to try and find some joy - I guess. Dalia was off playing with the other kids at the Disney Kids' Club on the Island. I was hiding behind a tree watching her, making sure she was okay (read as: making sure I was okay.)
I felt that emptiness then and I felt it again last night. It's not a bad emptiness - its just an...empty emptiness. I want, desperately, to fill it but know that it cannot be filled. My little girls have to grow up and I have to accept empty rooms from time to time.
You have taught me that everything that is good and sacred is mine only for a short while. And I know that I should be thankful for all that I have - at this moment, right now. I do yearn, though, for just a little more time with a full house - with all of my girls in their rooms. If I could hold onto that just for...forever.
David
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